Howdy Space Rangers,
The word fuck would describe this week so far.
I've been a hectic mess and I can't help it even when I tried. My minds drained from school already, i feel hypnotic towards the end of the day, stuck in a trance where all i would do is sit in bed and listen to music whilst attempting to do homework. For some reason I was in a very low mood from Monday-Wednesday and now I'm a giddy heap; mood swings are a bitch I honestly don't know how people with vagina's handle their mood when its their time of the month. My mood fluctuates in school times a lot more cause of the stress and weather so that's why i didn't want to blog until i was relaxed and in a better mood.. instead of painting a dark painting of my life that people will look at and assume it's the norm. I'm a landmine, sometimes I break down so hard you can hear it, and when I can stand to come near it with means to repair, the chances of walking out unscathed are slim to none.
Anyways; seems to be my favorite word of the week. I've been reading a lot of books this week to increase my intellectual range and broaden my imagination as I have said before school kills my creativity. Chokes it like that hooker on the t.v. Its been a fucking stellar experience to buy the book that i cherished as a kid and made me get into writing stories. Needless to say I devoured it in a week and felt like a child again, only to be reverted back to the raunchy descriptive sex scenes in some of the new books for school i had to read. My hormones are raging. That has gotten me into trouble before. Juicy ain't it?
Next week is going to be fucking hot. Might skip a day of school.
One of my pet peeves -
People who randomly touch my hair or my hat. Call me OCD but if I have my hat or beanie or hairspray on my head chances are, I wanted it there and it should remain that way.
Okay I'm done confessing now and if there are any spelling or punctuation errors I was too lazy to proof read it.
Love x
Anthony I hate my last name, it sounds SO asian.
*tucks away my third leg*
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Year 12
Evening you cheeky little minxes,
One of many early morning wake ups happened today; and alot more is about to follow soon. I've got a lot of things on my plate now, the main course being year twelve. School. No more freedom, I now have a strict timetable to follow(a horrible one to say the least), and eventually each day will feel the same as last weeks one. The repetition of every day school life kills me. It chokes the flow of my creative juices. No joke. On school days I feel worn out and tired, suffering from sleep deprivation and dragging myself out of my fucking room to take a shower and go to school. Yet once the weekend comes I never feel tired or catch up on sleep. The only two days of freedom.
Why spend time on parole in seclusion. I'm already starting to feel transient. Topple this on with other normal life stresses I really don't see how my friends keep going on. But then again most of my friends aren't going to university. Their minds aren't as biased and closed as mine; they see Tafe ( or other options) sustainable.
That sounded selfish, here i go again. Don't misconstrue what I'm trying to say. I am sure Tafe is an excellent option; I would not be surprised if they end up making more money than me while i waste my life doing another four years of schooling.
Know this; these posts are meant to serve as a window into my world.
I like to write - not for anyone but myself - but here and there my thoughts will seem biased or asshole-ish and that's just because of my experiences I faced.
Had to clear that up. Back to the point I think my parents poisoned my head, if I don't go to university i will fail. Or maybe its just me being unsure of my talents and how far it could get me out in the real world. The classrooms feel safe for me. Maybe University is the only place for me where I have a decent chance to succeed. I hate that. Sometimes I wish I could broaden my mind you know, like drop out of school and join a band or become a world class dolphin trainer.
Maybe its just a phase right now that I see the negativity because school is starting again. Upside there are new hot girls and Ive got more frees which I can use studying. In realness I'm gonna spend it hanging around town.
Love,
Anthong
Oh yeah, sorry about the dull looking page.
I cant be fucked making it look good. :)
One of many early morning wake ups happened today; and alot more is about to follow soon. I've got a lot of things on my plate now, the main course being year twelve. School. No more freedom, I now have a strict timetable to follow(a horrible one to say the least), and eventually each day will feel the same as last weeks one. The repetition of every day school life kills me. It chokes the flow of my creative juices. No joke. On school days I feel worn out and tired, suffering from sleep deprivation and dragging myself out of my fucking room to take a shower and go to school. Yet once the weekend comes I never feel tired or catch up on sleep. The only two days of freedom.
Why spend time on parole in seclusion. I'm already starting to feel transient. Topple this on with other normal life stresses I really don't see how my friends keep going on. But then again most of my friends aren't going to university. Their minds aren't as biased and closed as mine; they see Tafe ( or other options) sustainable.
That sounded selfish, here i go again. Don't misconstrue what I'm trying to say. I am sure Tafe is an excellent option; I would not be surprised if they end up making more money than me while i waste my life doing another four years of schooling.
Know this; these posts are meant to serve as a window into my world.
I like to write - not for anyone but myself - but here and there my thoughts will seem biased or asshole-ish and that's just because of my experiences I faced.
Had to clear that up. Back to the point I think my parents poisoned my head, if I don't go to university i will fail. Or maybe its just me being unsure of my talents and how far it could get me out in the real world. The classrooms feel safe for me. Maybe University is the only place for me where I have a decent chance to succeed. I hate that. Sometimes I wish I could broaden my mind you know, like drop out of school and join a band or become a world class dolphin trainer.
Maybe its just a phase right now that I see the negativity because school is starting again. Upside there are new hot girls and Ive got more frees which I can use studying. In realness I'm gonna spend it hanging around town.
Love,
Anthong
Oh yeah, sorry about the dull looking page.
I cant be fucked making it look good. :)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Rant no. Uno,
"Your mom looked better before she got naked - Nothing Personal"
My sexy Readers it’s Rant no. Uno,
Sitting in the hospital lobby yesterday I realized something about me that made me stare at the ceiling for a long time contemplating about moi while tugging at my hair. Here’s my cynical analysis regarding it.
I am an overachiever. I aim for things that are unattainable or hard to get and I couldn’t help but think about every aspect of my life and how that affected me. Maybe it’s the fact that if I fail I would not feel so bad compared to if I fail settling with what is reachable. A good example would have to be me doing Specialist Maths as a course; I’m an awful student in class but when I do get a high mark in a test my heart quickens its pace. It’s that sensation of accomplishing something that deep in myself I knew was unattainable and it makes my life worth living for.
There was a girl I liked a long time ago who I knew was out of my reach and even though in the end I didn’t get her my sense of failure didn’t feel as great based solely on the fact I had a mindset that it wasn’t a very great chance to start with. Ironically I found out that she did like me at one stage and would have went out with me but I waited too long to ask her out. I don’t know why I had an urge to tell that and brag about it in this blog. Fucked if I know.
And all this time I thought myself to be humble.
Then again I also prided myself to be an honest guy but now I seem to be lying more; especially to myself. I’m a liar. I am human.
Funny thing is lately this thing I desire whenever I encounter an obstacle it actually brings me down alot and makes me falter. What does that mean? Am I becoming a whore? Should I undress now? Possibly I’m not a kid anymore and nothing is impossible; there’s always hope and with hope there are possibilities which makes me think about all the things I regret not doing. But possibilities are never clear, it’s like using your reflection in a lake as a mirror to do your hair and brush your teeth. So if I saw a kid version of myself I wouldn’t know whether to hit him in the head or shake his hand.
Tired + rambling on is not a good mix and this probably won’t make sense to alot of you.
Anyways before this becomes an overdramatic midlife crisis thing I’m going to go feed my dog.
My sexy Readers it’s Rant no. Uno,
Sitting in the hospital lobby yesterday I realized something about me that made me stare at the ceiling for a long time contemplating about moi while tugging at my hair. Here’s my cynical analysis regarding it.
I am an overachiever. I aim for things that are unattainable or hard to get and I couldn’t help but think about every aspect of my life and how that affected me. Maybe it’s the fact that if I fail I would not feel so bad compared to if I fail settling with what is reachable. A good example would have to be me doing Specialist Maths as a course; I’m an awful student in class but when I do get a high mark in a test my heart quickens its pace. It’s that sensation of accomplishing something that deep in myself I knew was unattainable and it makes my life worth living for.
There was a girl I liked a long time ago who I knew was out of my reach and even though in the end I didn’t get her my sense of failure didn’t feel as great based solely on the fact I had a mindset that it wasn’t a very great chance to start with. Ironically I found out that she did like me at one stage and would have went out with me but I waited too long to ask her out. I don’t know why I had an urge to tell that and brag about it in this blog. Fucked if I know.
And all this time I thought myself to be humble.
Then again I also prided myself to be an honest guy but now I seem to be lying more; especially to myself. I’m a liar. I am human.
Funny thing is lately this thing I desire whenever I encounter an obstacle it actually brings me down alot and makes me falter. What does that mean? Am I becoming a whore? Should I undress now? Possibly I’m not a kid anymore and nothing is impossible; there’s always hope and with hope there are possibilities which makes me think about all the things I regret not doing. But possibilities are never clear, it’s like using your reflection in a lake as a mirror to do your hair and brush your teeth. So if I saw a kid version of myself I wouldn’t know whether to hit him in the head or shake his hand.
Tired + rambling on is not a good mix and this probably won’t make sense to alot of you.
Anyways before this becomes an overdramatic midlife crisis thing I’m going to go feed my dog.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The First One.
The first times always the hardest.
Yes Sir.
So about me long story short;
Anthony; born in Adelaide on the 3rd of December 1992 and raised by a family of meerkats alongside Simba he now attends University Senior College and tackles the world wearing Skinny Jeans.
Anywhosal..
My life isn't complicated but my thoughts are. This is the place for you and even more for me to decipher it and unlock its mysteries, maybe at the same time unlocking secret levels and characters along the way. I do have to say my thoughts catch me off guard a lot because of the fact that it wanders daily not surprisingly that being of my worst traits; I space out a lot and have trouble concentrating. Trailing from the point I am a really stubborn kid even to the point where i refuse even if the bad outweighs the good. I am extremely sexy but far from perfect and have many flaws which i try to hide behind my sense of humor. My nature is to be impulsive. I aspire to be a successful author in the future so this blog also holds a place to hone my writing and creativity skills. I live for music and have a very biased mindset only listening to my 'type' of genre. Its funny cause barely any of my friends like my type of songs. I don't like taking photos and if your my friend you'd know that so this blog will be mostly filled with my boring words. I have a role model who i base myself on, and its become second nature to be like him, I'm not fake. Girls. I hate summer and love winter so we can meet halfway in autumn.
But anyways since I'm so awesome i won't digress anymore; have to aim for a sense of mystery.
Stay tuned.
Anfonia
Yes Sir.
So about me long story short;
Anthony; born in Adelaide on the 3rd of December 1992 and raised by a family of meerkats alongside Simba he now attends University Senior College and tackles the world wearing Skinny Jeans.
Anywhosal..
My life isn't complicated but my thoughts are. This is the place for you and even more for me to decipher it and unlock its mysteries, maybe at the same time unlocking secret levels and characters along the way. I do have to say my thoughts catch me off guard a lot because of the fact that it wanders daily not surprisingly that being of my worst traits; I space out a lot and have trouble concentrating. Trailing from the point I am a really stubborn kid even to the point where i refuse even if the bad outweighs the good. I am extremely sexy but far from perfect and have many flaws which i try to hide behind my sense of humor. My nature is to be impulsive. I aspire to be a successful author in the future so this blog also holds a place to hone my writing and creativity skills. I live for music and have a very biased mindset only listening to my 'type' of genre. Its funny cause barely any of my friends like my type of songs. I don't like taking photos and if your my friend you'd know that so this blog will be mostly filled with my boring words. I have a role model who i base myself on, and its become second nature to be like him, I'm not fake. Girls. I hate summer and love winter so we can meet halfway in autumn.
But anyways since I'm so awesome i won't digress anymore; have to aim for a sense of mystery.
Stay tuned.
Anfonia
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