Thursday, October 14, 2010

Rant no. Uno,

"Your mom looked better before she got naked - Nothing Personal"

My sexy Readers it’s Rant no. Uno,

Sitting in the hospital lobby yesterday I realized something about me that made me stare at the ceiling for a long time contemplating about moi while tugging at my hair. Here’s my cynical analysis regarding it.
I am an overachiever. I aim for things that are unattainable or hard to get and I couldn’t help but think about every aspect of my life and how that affected me. Maybe it’s the fact that if I fail I would not feel so bad compared to if I fail settling with what is reachable. A good example would have to be me doing Specialist Maths as a course; I’m an awful student in class but when I do get a high mark in a test my heart quickens its pace. It’s that sensation of accomplishing something that deep in myself I knew was unattainable and it makes my life worth living for.

There was a girl I liked a long time ago who I knew was out of my reach and even though in the end I didn’t get her my sense of failure didn’t feel as great based solely on the fact I had a mindset that it wasn’t a very great chance to start with. Ironically I found out that she did like me at one stage and would have went out with me but I waited too long to ask her out. I don’t know why I had an urge to tell that and brag about it in this blog. Fucked if I know.
And all this time I thought myself to be humble.
Then again I also prided myself to be an honest guy but now I seem to be lying more; especially to myself. I’m a liar. I am human.
Funny thing is lately this thing I desire whenever I encounter an obstacle it actually brings me down alot and makes me falter. What does that mean? Am I becoming a whore? Should I undress now? Possibly I’m not a kid anymore and nothing is impossible; there’s always hope and with hope there are possibilities which makes me think about all the things I regret not doing. But possibilities are never clear, it’s like using your reflection in a lake as a mirror to do your hair and brush your teeth. So if I saw a kid version of myself I wouldn’t know whether to hit him in the head or shake his hand.
Tired + rambling on is not a good mix and this probably won’t make sense to alot of you.
Anyways before this becomes an overdramatic midlife crisis thing I’m going to go feed my dog.

6 comments:

  1. I totally feel you on this one man. Recently I decided whenever I see a chick that is way too hot for me I'm going to talk to her anyways. Even if I only say hello or something awkward I've decided that it is a small victory to be a very introverted person who is not afraid to talk to women. Who knows, eventually maybe I'll get good at it. Good post man, clix 4 u.

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  2. pardon the meme, but cool story bro. i can totally feel you on this though, so thanks for saying what were all thinking. good post and good blog, you can be sure ill be back.

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  3. You have my attention. Looking forward to future rants, as some of your insecurities are mine too. Lol.

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  4. Don't ever feel bad to overachieve. It just means you accomplish more. i know overreaching may be a problem sometimes, but looking at eh bigger picture, it is better for you in the long run. Trust me. Interesting post man. I'm following you :D

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  5. Making your dog happy solves a looot of problems.

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