Thursday, October 14, 2010

Rant no. Uno,

"Your mom looked better before she got naked - Nothing Personal"

My sexy Readers it’s Rant no. Uno,

Sitting in the hospital lobby yesterday I realized something about me that made me stare at the ceiling for a long time contemplating about moi while tugging at my hair. Here’s my cynical analysis regarding it.
I am an overachiever. I aim for things that are unattainable or hard to get and I couldn’t help but think about every aspect of my life and how that affected me. Maybe it’s the fact that if I fail I would not feel so bad compared to if I fail settling with what is reachable. A good example would have to be me doing Specialist Maths as a course; I’m an awful student in class but when I do get a high mark in a test my heart quickens its pace. It’s that sensation of accomplishing something that deep in myself I knew was unattainable and it makes my life worth living for.

There was a girl I liked a long time ago who I knew was out of my reach and even though in the end I didn’t get her my sense of failure didn’t feel as great based solely on the fact I had a mindset that it wasn’t a very great chance to start with. Ironically I found out that she did like me at one stage and would have went out with me but I waited too long to ask her out. I don’t know why I had an urge to tell that and brag about it in this blog. Fucked if I know.
And all this time I thought myself to be humble.
Then again I also prided myself to be an honest guy but now I seem to be lying more; especially to myself. I’m a liar. I am human.
Funny thing is lately this thing I desire whenever I encounter an obstacle it actually brings me down alot and makes me falter. What does that mean? Am I becoming a whore? Should I undress now? Possibly I’m not a kid anymore and nothing is impossible; there’s always hope and with hope there are possibilities which makes me think about all the things I regret not doing. But possibilities are never clear, it’s like using your reflection in a lake as a mirror to do your hair and brush your teeth. So if I saw a kid version of myself I wouldn’t know whether to hit him in the head or shake his hand.
Tired + rambling on is not a good mix and this probably won’t make sense to alot of you.
Anyways before this becomes an overdramatic midlife crisis thing I’m going to go feed my dog.


  1. I totally feel you on this one man. Recently I decided whenever I see a chick that is way too hot for me I'm going to talk to her anyways. Even if I only say hello or something awkward I've decided that it is a small victory to be a very introverted person who is not afraid to talk to women. Who knows, eventually maybe I'll get good at it. Good post man, clix 4 u.

  2. pardon the meme, but cool story bro. i can totally feel you on this though, so thanks for saying what were all thinking. good post and good blog, you can be sure ill be back.

  3. You have my attention. Looking forward to future rants, as some of your insecurities are mine too. Lol.

  4. Don't ever feel bad to overachieve. It just means you accomplish more. i know overreaching may be a problem sometimes, but looking at eh bigger picture, it is better for you in the long run. Trust me. Interesting post man. I'm following you :D

  5. Making your dog happy solves a looot of problems.